As Israelis began a heavy Yom Hazikaron, Israel’s Memorial Day, an emotional ceremony held in Jerusalem offered space for bereaved families to share their grief and mourn together. More than a thousand attendees joined OneFamily, Israel’s leading organization supporting victims of terror and their families, at the Haas Promenade for its annual ceremony that brings together bereaved families.
The evening’s “I Am Not Alone” program honored those who made the ultimate sacrifice for Israel by giving their loved ones a platform to share a piece of their fallen heroes’ stories and their personal journeys in dealing with loss and grief, together with an audience who walks this path as well.
Each person spoke of feeling a deep sense of pride, even amid their deepest pain and sorrow. Pride that their son, daughter, father, sibling or twin chose to protect the people of Israel, even if it cost them their own lives.
One such speaker was Tamar Ettinger, who suffered two devastating losses: her husband, Rabbi Achiad Ettinger, was killed during a 2019 terror attack at the Ariel junction. He opened fire on the terrorist, saving countless lives before being shot by the terrorist. He succumbed to his injuries the following day, leaving behind Tamar and their 12 children. Five years later, in October 2024, their son, Capt. Harel Ettinger was killed in Lebanon. He initiated a courageous battle in which he prevented the kidnapping of the bodies of two fallen soldiers. He recovered their bodies to ensure their safe return to Israel for proper burial.
“My Harel chose to do everything he could so two more mothers of Israel would have a grave at which to weep for their children,” said Tamar Ettinger. “Today, my choice is not between being or ceasing to be, but rather making our lives better and more meaningful. That choice is in our hands. I know, both on a personal and a national level, everything that happens to us is truly for our ultimate good.”
Sarit Gomez, one of two widows who moderated the evening, opened with her own heartbreaking story of loss. Her husband, Maj. Daniel Gomez, fell in 2006 in the Second Lebanon War when his helicopter was shot down just two days before the war ended.
“My Danny fell in battle when I was six months pregnant with our first son, whom I named Aviah Daniel,” she said. “Danny and I were young and in love, built our sweet home together, and dreamed about our child’s joyful, promising future. But everything turned upside down before Danny ever got to hold his son in his arms.”
Gomez and Yael Shevach, the widow of terror victim Rabbi Raziel Shevach, moderated the event, calling on others to share their stories, which were told between moving performances by Yoni Tokayer of the musical group Yonina. The sons of Sgt. Maj. (res.) Yossi Hershkovitz performed a beautiful piece and described how their father, who began to play music at age 3, loved to play music with his family.
As part of the healing process, OneFamily works with siblings to help them deal with their loss. Shai Schwartz and Michael Malka, two bereaved brothers, spoke about participating in OneFamily’s trip to Sri Lanka, geared to adults who lost a sibling in this war.
Speaking on video, they shared, with openness and vulnerability, their tremendous struggle to maintain a daily routine while adjusting to a new way of being. They described the trip’s intensity and how it served as a crossroads for each participant, resulting in extraordinary breakthroughs that would have been hard to achieve alone.
Losing a sibling who is a twin or triplet brings a unique sense of grief. “Being a bereaved twin is walking through this world split in half, knowing that part of your soul is no longer among the living,” explained Itamar Weisel, whose twin brother, Master Sgt. Elkana Weisel, fell in Gaza in January 2024. He and Daniel Oren, whose triplet brother Aviel Oren, was killed at the Nova festival, spoke about their lost siblings and the grief they deal with on a daily basis.
“For Israel’s bereaved families, Yom Hazikaron isn’t just one day a year. They experience the pain every single day,” said Chantal Belzberg, founding director of OneFamily. “Sadly, since Oct. 7, thousands of new families have joined us. Today, Yom Hazikaron, is an opportunity for the rest of us to try to understand and join in celebrating the memory of those who have been lost. Every person anywhere in the world who takes the time to watch even part of the ceremony is stepping into the important embrace of those whose hearts and lives have been broken. It is an opportunity and privilege to join them, to stand with them, and to engage in the power of together.”
Following the ceremony, many remained at the promenade to sing, talk and share memories. This late-night, post-ceremony has become an annual OneFamily tradition that reinforces the power of grieving together. The ceremony also brought bereaved grandparents, parents, siblings and orphans, and was livestreamed with English subtitles, reaching thousands of viewers worldwide.
The recording can be viewed on the OneFamily YouTube site.
A total of 25,420 individuals have fallen in defense of the Jewish homeland since 1860. Since last Yom Hazikaron, 319 names have been added, along with 61 disabled veterans who died of injuries sustained in service and were officially recognized as fallen.