“Since Yotam was kidnapped, I started seeing things differently. I see the entire Israeli people and not just specific segments of society,” Iris Haim told JNS on Monday.
Speaking in Limassol, Cyprus, Haim—whose son Yotam was kidnapped by Hamas terrorists on Oct. 7, 2023, and accidentally killed by Israeli forces in Gaza while trying to escape two months later—said: “Now, I feel connected to many more. I have more insights into my Jewish self.”
On Tuesday, she participated in the Yael Foundation’s annual summit on Jewish education, giving a lecture titled, “In Light, Not in Darkness.”
“It’s very important for me to share the story of Yotam, his heroism, everywhere I go. I talk about the education we gave him at home, how to raise children and what in my eyes is right or isn’t,” she said. “It feels like a mission.”
Addressing the worldwide surge of antisemitism, Haim compared the phenomenon to cancer.
“In the human body, there are cancerous cells, waiting to erupt and become malignant tumors and kill its host,” she said. “Similarly, antisemitism is always present. The moment Jews show somewhat of weakness, it resurfaces.”
‘A pinch to the heart’
Since the start of the ceasefire-for-hostages agreement with Hamas on Jan. 19, 13 Israeli captives and five Thais have been released, with 20 more expected to be freed in the coming weeks of the initial stage.
Haim addressed feelings of joy and agony at seeing hostages return, knowing her son won’t. “At first, it was very difficult. Of the first three girls who were released, two were from Yotam’s neighborhood in Kibbutz Kfar Aza,” she said.
“On one hand, it’s a lot of happiness to see them return, and I am hoping for everyone’s return. On the other hand, it’s a lot of pain. We know Yotam won’t return, and while I have a lot of strength in me and can speak of Yotam as a hero, his life ended at the age of 29,” she said.
“It’s a pinch to the heart knowing I won’t see him anymore,” she added. “It’s not just my son; there are a lot of people who were murdered on Oct. 7 and soldiers who fell in battle. It’s difficult for everyone.”
Haim revealed that she has dealt with the pain not through anger or by blaming others, but through working to better herself. Concurrently, she has found solace in meeting with the families of hostages who were killed, as well as families of soldiers who fell in battle.
“It helps a lot. Our sons were murdered; it doesn’t matter how. What matters is that it happened and how to live with it afterwards,” she said.
Haim is now looking to establish a therapeutic home that will provide help to those struggling with mental health, just as Yotam was.
“Yotam was a musician who truly wanted to succeed. It‘s not always possible in Israel. We thought to build this place, which will provide healing to those struggling with mental health, through music, sports and domestic animals. I hope we will succeed in this project,” she said.
“I will continue doing activities towards bringing Jewish hearts together and for unity. My mission since Yotam was murdered is to try and make a positive change,” she concluded.