Does anybody still make New Year’s resolutions? Or are we over that phase?
One guy said, “My New Year’s resolution is to have a fat bank account and a skinny body. Last year, I got mixed up!”
Most people I know have long stopped making New Year’s resolutions because they know it doesn’t work. They just go “in one year, and out the other!”
The harsh reality is that “Change” has been described as the single most difficult thing to do in the world! We get comfortable in our discomfort. “Better the devil you know,” they say. Embracing change and new lifestyles is very, very difficult. We are creatures of habit. The only people who like change are wet babies.
But the fact is that millions of people have changed. Some stopped smoking. Others stopped drinking or gambling. And many have become practicing Jews, even though they weren’t brought up that way. Some started eating kosher, while others started keeping Shabbat.
So, it can be done. But I will be the first to acknowledge that it isn’t easy.
But what does Judaism say about change?
The answer is that Judaism insists that we can change our ways and learn new habits. You may be surprised to hear that even the holiest rabbis would make Rosh Hashanah resolutions to further improve themselves—to do even better.
That’s the good news. The bad news is that it doesn’t just happen by making a wish. It takes work, serious work But Judaism insists that it can be done.
One of the 13 principles of faith is that there is reward and punishment. Now how can there possibly be reward and punishment for our behavior (or misbehavior) if we never had the ability to behave correctly in the first place?
Clearly, the fact that there is ultimate accountability proves that we always had the freedom of choice to live correctly, regardless of our inborn nature. And that’s why we are responsible and will be held accountable for our actions.
Of course, a lot has to do with our attitude. As a wise man once said, “Whether you think you can or you think you cannot, you are right.” It is your own attitude that will determine success or failure.
I think of my own father. He was a chain smoker. He went through three packs a day; I never saw him without a cigarette between his fingers. Until he started getting bronchitis. And after the antibiotic was finished, he’d get bronchitis again—and again. When his doctor told him, “If you don’t stop smoking, you will keep getting bronchitis,” then and there, my father dropped the half-used pack of cigarettes in the trash in the doctor’s office. He never touched a cigarette again for the rest of his life!
Do you want to hear something fascinating? In all those years when he was a smoker, there was one occasion when he would not touch a cigarette for 25 hours at a time.
On Shabbat! How did he do it? After all, he was still addicted back then.
The answer is that when you are religious and you know that smoking on Shabbat is prohibited by Torah law, then in your head, you know there’s nothing to talk about. It’s simply non-negotiable. And if it’s not negotiable, then you don’t even think about it.
So, it really is all in the mind.
It was a test
Now, I’m no psychologist, but I need to stress that we are talking about changing actions, not personalities. People don’t change their basic character types; however, they certainly can learn to change their behavioral patterns, even if it goes against their natural impulses.
People who are born stingy by nature can learn to give tzedakah. In fact, they may have to give until it hurts (literally). But they can offer charity. And the more they do, the easier and more rewarding it gets. Good habits become second nature.
Here is an example from the Rosh Hashanah Torah reading.
On the second day, we read the Akedah, the final test of faith that God put to our father Abraham. Would he be prepared to take the son he waited 100 years for to Mount Moriah, bring him up on the altar of God and sacrifice the boy?
We all know the story. Abraham and Isaac wake up early in the morning and walk up the mountain in good faith. At the very last minute, there is a stay of execution. It’s only a test!
Indeed, at the very last second, the angel of God says to Abraham: “Do not lay your hand upon the lad, nor do anything to him. For now, I know that you are a God-fearing man.”
And the question is: Only now you know that Abraham is God-fearing? He has been your faithful servant for more than a century. You already tested him nine other times! And he passed every one of those tests with flying colors. Until now, you didn’t know that Abraham was a God-fearing man?
The answer is that up until the Akedah, there was no question that Abraham served God faithfully. But in which area of life was his service expressed? It was mainly in the realm of chesed—kindness, hospitality and saving people from distress.
There was no question whatsoever that Abraham was Mr. Nice Guy personified, the kindest man on earth. But now the big question was: Could this same benevolent father restrain his natural inclination to be kind and do something extremely unkind? Would he really be able to act so harshly with his own beloved son if God asked him to? Now this was a test.
And only when Abraham passed it—not the test of love and kindness, but the test of discipline, going against nature—only then was God able to say: Now I know that you are indeed a God-fearing man, Abraham. Not only a God-loving man, but a God-fearing man, too.
The bottom line is that regardless of our natural inborn inclinations, we can always do what is right.
So, as we stand here just before the New Year, a time when God promises us that we can change our conduct for the good if we really want to, let us choose to make a new resolution. Let us resolve to take upon ourselves a new mitzvah, a new good habit, for the New Jewish Year: 5787.
Shana Tovah! May it be a blessed New Year for us all. And may we unlock all our potential for good. Amen!
