“When he puts on his army uniform, I put on my superhuman suit and I turn into an octopus with multiple hands,” Chaya, whose husband is a reserve soldier in the Israel Defense Forces, told JNS.
Her husband serves in the IDF’s 9th Brigade, also known as the Oded Brigade, a distinguished infantry unit comprising reservists who served in the Golani Brigade during their mandatory military service.
Since Oct. 7, 2023, the brigade has consistently ranked second in the number of reserve duty days served. Their primary focus has been the northern front.
During the peak of the conflict, the 9th Brigade fought for several weeks inside Lebanon.
After being disabled for a year, Chaya’s husband was supposed to have been exempt from reserve army duty. Then Israel’s Gaza war broke out, triggered by the Oct. 7 Hamas onslaught on Israel.
“After the Hamas massacre, he couldn’t stay home. He volunteered to be reassigned to reserve duty and now deals with logistics within the combat unit. At first, we thought he would just give them a hand, but he is still in the reserves,” she said.
When the war with Iran broke out, Chaya’s husband was informed that his round of reserve duty would be extended by 40 days. Chaya’s nine-year-old child suffers from STXBP1 encephalopathy, a rare genetic neurological disorder.
“At the beginning of the Gaza war, I could lift him and bathe him. Now, I can’t, he is too big. What am I supposed to do, bring a stranger to live with me and help raise my child?” she asked.
“No one but the women who are on the same boat understand what we go through,” she said.
Several members of the brigade founded the Oded Spirit organization, which provides year-round support to soldiers and their families. The programs include psychological and emotional support, assistance for bereaved families and educational scholarships.
“If we start to understand the needs of the families, we can give them support, whether it’s help with their businesses or online teachers to help do homework with the kids,” said Chaya.
Noa, from Yavne, whose husband has served 340 days of reserve duty in the 9th Brigade since 2023, told JNS that her youngest child, currently in first grade, still doesn’t know how to read or write.
“It doesn’t matter how many times I speak with the educational team to help him; there is still no progress,” she said.
While she insisted that she is proud of her husband, Noa described the challenges of being the wife of a 9th Brigade soldier.
“Mentally, I have no time for myself to heal. My kids need me more. My religious friends have their own community around where they live. Here in the city, we are really alone,” she said.
“I do freelance graphic design and website building. Since the beginning of the war, I haven’t worked. For this type of creative job, I need space to think. All the things that my husband’s battalion asked of me, I did. But I haven’t worked for myself or earned money since Oct. 7,” she continued.
“Nobody really cares that my business is shuttered. We don’t get any sort of compensation for that,” she added.
The hardest thing, she said, is that the children get used to the absence of their father.
“They have gone through two years without his presence. They are proud of him, but don’t understand why their dad serves and not all the other dads,” she said.
“I asked him, ‘Why are you going?’ He replied that this is a war he is not willing to leave to our children to deal with. He wants to finish this now, even if he gets hurt, so that our son won’t have to do it. It turns out that all the other soldiers in his brigade think the same way,” she continued.
“There is an opportunity here. The IDF eliminated Hezbollah. Hopefully, when our son Yanai enlists, he won’t have to go fight in Lebanon,” she added.
Michal, 33, a mother of four, the youngest born during the war. Her husband is currently serving a fourth round of reserve duty in the 9th Brigade.
Michal stressed to JNS the importance of getting recognition from the country as a family member of a reserve soldier.
“Our visibility is non-existent, even though we are impacted very directly, and it hurts,” she said.
Michal, who works as an educational consultant in a school in Gevaot in Gush Etzion in Judea, explained the difficulty of working while taking care of the children on her own.
“When it’s all over, we will have to rebuild our routine from the start,” she said.
For a while, Michal only met her husband at funerals.
“Our neighbor Yossi Hershkovitz was killed. The funeral service was in their backyard. I met my husband at the funeral. Then he had to return to base.
The husband of our niece was murdered. Again met at the funeral. Dealing with so much grief and loss, while being strong as a mother is an impossible challenge,” Michal said.
“We live in a place where there were nearly no shelters at the beginning of the war. I also have the responsibility of ensuring the security of my children and dealing with all the uncertainty,” she continued.
The women can get some measure of support and understanding from one another, via the Oded Spirit organization.
“We have this community that belongs to us, when someone is called, we are all together in it. If something happens, we can help each other,” said Chaya.
“Someone in the group had COVID. Her baby was not feeling well, she had a test coming up and she couldn’t cook for Shabbat. Because of the community, we could support her, give her food, help her get ready for Shabbat, it wouldn’t have happened otherwise,” she added.